Tag Archives: Housewife

Not Applicable!??

28 May
Eeyore as depicted by Disney

Eeyore as depicted by Disney (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This past week or so has been a doozy. Not only am I packing up our place solo, but the kids and I were in a bit of a fender bender. As a result, I am sore all over. The middle of my back feels like I took a swift kick from a donkey.

Erring on the side of caution, and under the advice of several friends and family, I had it looked at. As I was filling out the forms and answering the routine questions, it came up: What do you do? (for a living). I’m a stay at home mom. Oh…… (dead silence). Three separate occasions this week, I’ve been asked this question with varying responses to my answer.  All vague and non-committal as if the person asking the question doesn’t know how to process parenthood as a profession.

A quick exam by the doctor and a few x-rays for good measure confirm that all is well. Just a muscle strain and a spasm. No medication since I’m still breastfeeding. $50 bucks and I’m on my way, trying to convince myself that the $50 for reassurance that nothing serious was going on, was well worth it.

And then…

My husband, through circumstances beyond his control, ended up at the same urgent care also with back pain. HE brings home multiple prescriptions, photo copies of stretches he’s supposed to do nightly AND work restrictions.

Ok.

The next morning, Mr Crabby Pants is crying at my husband’s knees, I’ve got my hands full, and my husband looks at me and says with a degree of frustration, “Honey, can you get him, I’ve got work restrictions.”

That was the moment.That’s when it finally sunk in.

For those of us Mom’s (stay at home or otherwise) THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS WORK RESTRICTIONS! That whole section on the after-care release forms became Not Applicable the moment I said I was a stay at home mom.

No work restrictions for this or any stay at home mom. If the kid is crying, we pick him up! Blood, puke, snot or tears, it’s always Mommy to the rescue.

And, at the end of the day, after that friendly kick from Eeyore really settles in, I wouldn’t change a thing.

The End is Upon Us!

21 May

Kindergarten is almost done.

Summer vacation is almost here, and I can’t believe the year that we have had.

Sniffle, sigh… it seems like just a couple of days ago that we were walking into her school a family of three ready to start the new adventure in our lives that is kindergarten. She looked so cute in a red shirt and jean shorts with her hair brushed and teeth clean just bouncing in anticipation. When we walked into her classroom she did not hesitate a moment. She hung her backpack up on her hook and took her place at her little desk. Her teacher had already placed a couple of activities on their tables for them, so she picked up some blocks and started playing with them.

I’m not sure she even noticed when I leaned over to kiss her good-bye. After a few minutes of unneccessary loitering, I figured it was time to head for the door. At this point, I had to pull my husband out by his elbow… Then he stood in the doorway for a few minutes just watching her.

Fast forward to the end of the year:

Here are some Kindergarten Rules as they really apply:

Follow Directions the First Time They are Given.

Translation: see Stay on Task, one cancels the other when at home.

Keep Feet, Hands and Objects to Yourself.

Translation: This apparently does not apply to any manner of germs that will come home to share with your friends and family. This year we had at least 5 confirmed cases of Strep throat and 3 mystery viruses.

Stay on Task.

Translation: This teaches the skill of how to completely ignore your Mommy when it is time to stop what you are doing and clean your room as requested. Of this, my daughter is a master.

Use an Appropriate Voice at All Times.

Translation: New “friends” will have LOTS of interesting information for you to share with Mommy. Example: “Mommy, tattoos really hurt. They put them on you with a needle. So they really, really hurt. Did you know that???”

Respect People and Things.

Translation: Once you are out the confining limits of the classroom, feel free to let it all out every chance you get. All that energy has to have an outlet you know. Isn’t it one of Newton’s Laws of physics? If not Newton than surely this is covered by Murphy!

As the days count down I reflect on the year that has passed. The changes that have occurred, including adding a brother and loosing six teeth,  and I focus on this: Summer Vacation means that I have three months to keep all the good things she learned at school locked in her mind, while trying to ERASE the bad!

Tattoos anyone????

Naptime Warrior

12 Apr

Clean this! Paint that! GET ORGANIZED NOW!!! 20% off your total purchase, sale ends TODAY!

baby monitor LEDs

baby monitor LEDs (Photo credit: Robert S. Donovan)

Does this sound familiar??? Maybe it’s because it is spring. Or maybe it’s because we are all supposed to live in picture perfect little houses with manicured landscaping and matchy matchy interiors, all toys, tubs and bins color coordinated so that if Better Homes & Gardens came knocking on our door, everything would be ready for that photo-op. Right?

From TV commercials to my inbox, I am being bombarded with “projects” to make my home life easier. What these advertisers don’t seem to realize is this: If you are a mommy to small children, chances are you have to think smaller. Much smaller. I don’t have whole weekends to devote to a home improvement project. Hell, I am a stay at home mom. I don’t have weekends period. No time off here…

What I do have is naptime! I am a Naptime Warrior. There is a teething baby in this house, so if the job that needs to be done involves more than five minutes, two hands and some brain cells, my friends it gets done at naptime or not at all!

With the help of a very sensitive baby monitor, naptime is when all the everyday chores gets done, and the not so every day chores. Laundry, kitchen cleaning, party planning and so on all gets done during naptime. It was even during naptime that I grabbed the hand mirror and a pair of scissors and chopped my hair off. Not for the faint of heart, but I was desperate!

Back in the perfect world, naptime would mean time for Mommy’s little luxuries. A bubble bath, maybe. Time to read a book that doesn’t cover breast-feeding or childhood illnesses… Ah, if only.

My friends are naptime warriors as well. My bestie has redone her laundry room, while nine moths pregnant no less, and painted the entry way to her home during naptime. Give an industrious and determined mommy a good two to three hours of undiluted naptime and there is no telling what she can get done.

As for me, I think today after spending all of last night nursing a teething baby, that I will defer to that age-old piece of wisdom passed down from mother to daughter, sister to friend. Sleep when the baby sleeps!

 

 

 

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