Tag Archives: Girl

Not the Mommy I want to be

23 May

I know we all have those days where we don’t live up to our own glorious expectations. Yesterday was a shining example for me.

Maybe it’s because I have given up Coke and I am feeling absolutely CRANKY as a result.

Maybe it’s because I have also started tracking my food intake, eliminating sugar.

Maybe it’s because the heat here is cranking up a bit higher everyday.

Maybe it’s just me.

So, it’s about six o’clock and we need to get out the door to go pick up my hubby from work. We have already had a full afternoon since we stopped at the library after school. Here I am strapping my gorgeous boy into his car seat when the darling girl comes bouncing into the room. I swear that is her only mode of forward momentum… bouncing.

In she comes bouncing, as I am struggling to untwist the car seat strap so I can buckle the thing properly.

“Mommy, I want to bring a snack with me”.

“No”

“But, why?”

“BECAUSE YOU JUST HAD ONE!” came flying out of my mouth at abandon in a low growl. As I turned my head to look at her, my sweet and sassy girl just started bawling.

“Mommy, you scared me”

I have rarely felt so low in my entire life. My babies are my everything. Hence the title of this blog for goodness sake. I don’t want to be a yeller. I have this image of the type of Mommy that I strive to be, and growl/yelling at my child isn’t part of that picture. Especially since she wasn’t in mortal danger, and she was sitting only a foot away from me. Totally overblown reaction on the my part. I at this point took a deep calming breath and apologized, to my six-year-old. Because after all we do lead by example right?

Then I carefully explained why I didn’t want her to bring a snack with us. First, she had just had a big one, second we were now late to pick up her Daddy, and finally we would be eating dinner as soon as we got home. At which her only response was to hammer home the point that I had scared her. Did I mention she is a smart and feisty one?

Have you found yourself in a situation where you didn’t handle things they way you would have wanted? What did you do to help make things better?

So at the end of the day all I could do was pray to God asking that he help me to be a better Mommy today and everyday.

 

The End is Upon Us!

21 May

Kindergarten is almost done.

Summer vacation is almost here, and I can’t believe the year that we have had.

Sniffle, sigh… it seems like just a couple of days ago that we were walking into her school a family of three ready to start the new adventure in our lives that is kindergarten. She looked so cute in a red shirt and jean shorts with her hair brushed and teeth clean just bouncing in anticipation. When we walked into her classroom she did not hesitate a moment. She hung her backpack up on her hook and took her place at her little desk. Her teacher had already placed a couple of activities on their tables for them, so she picked up some blocks and started playing with them.

I’m not sure she even noticed when I leaned over to kiss her good-bye. After a few minutes of unneccessary loitering, I figured it was time to head for the door. At this point, I had to pull my husband out by his elbow… Then he stood in the doorway for a few minutes just watching her.

Fast forward to the end of the year:

Here are some Kindergarten Rules as they really apply:

Follow Directions the First Time They are Given.

Translation: see Stay on Task, one cancels the other when at home.

Keep Feet, Hands and Objects to Yourself.

Translation: This apparently does not apply to any manner of germs that will come home to share with your friends and family. This year we had at least 5 confirmed cases of Strep throat and 3 mystery viruses.

Stay on Task.

Translation: This teaches the skill of how to completely ignore your Mommy when it is time to stop what you are doing and clean your room as requested. Of this, my daughter is a master.

Use an Appropriate Voice at All Times.

Translation: New “friends” will have LOTS of interesting information for you to share with Mommy. Example: “Mommy, tattoos really hurt. They put them on you with a needle. So they really, really hurt. Did you know that???”

Respect People and Things.

Translation: Once you are out the confining limits of the classroom, feel free to let it all out every chance you get. All that energy has to have an outlet you know. Isn’t it one of Newton’s Laws of physics? If not Newton than surely this is covered by Murphy!

As the days count down I reflect on the year that has passed. The changes that have occurred, including adding a brother and loosing six teeth,  and I focus on this: Summer Vacation means that I have three months to keep all the good things she learned at school locked in her mind, while trying to ERASE the bad!

Tattoos anyone????

Tearing Down the Fences

19 Apr

A weird thing happened this week that has really got me thinking…

Chain Link Fence

Chain Link Fence (Photo credit: camknows)

A couple of days ago, my husband had just walked out the door to run an errand and there came a knock on the door.  I was nursing the baby and thought he must have forgotten something, so I answered the door while still nursing.

To my surprise, it was not my husband but a little girl whom I had never seen before. “Um. Hello?” I said not really knowing what else to say. Keep in mind I am holding the door open with one hand and trying to nurse a baby with the other.

“Do you have a daughter?”, the little girl replied.

“Um, yes”. Was my brilliant response as I tried to detach the baby gracefully, while trying not to have a Nat Geo momement at the front door.

“Can she come out and play?” the little girl asked.

So I call my daughter to the door. “Do you know each other?” Two heads shake. I look around. No parental type person around to make introductions. No one to be seen at all. Yet here is this girl standing at my door. I have to admit, I am at a total loss here. My daughter loves to make new friends, and thinks that everyone is a friend just waiting to be had. I love her open heart, but really have to work on the stranger danger bit. I digress.

I tell them both that we are doing homework at the moment, and perhaps another day would be better to play. All the while still scanning the horizon for a parent or older sibling or someone. There is no one.

I ask around, and no one knows who this girl is, where she lives or really anything about her. Which is very strange considering she appears to be about 6 or 7 years old.

Which makes me sad and perplexed at the same time. I can’t help but remember back when I was a kid… Yes, that lovely phrase that immediatley generated eye rolling when uttered by our parents. Back then, there was a group of us who played together ages ranging from 5 to 9, I guess. The normal games: tag, kickball, hide and seek. It was all our parents could do to get us to come back inside when the street lights come on…

So what has happened to just letting our kids out to play? I’ve been pondering this all week while trying to find out more about the mystery girl.

My conclusion is this: too much privacy and too tall of fences.

No one knows each other anymore. Think about it. Growing up we lived on a corner lot with a chain link fence where we could see who was doing what. We knew who was playing football on the island and who was riding their bikes. Mom’s could look out the windows and know where their kids were and who they were playing with. Most likely they were talking on the phone or at the kitchen table with at least one of the other neighborhood moms anyway.  As a teen I used to fantasize about having a privacy fence so I could lay out naked. Well, that never happened. But these days as I drive past subdivision upon subdivision with regulated privacy fences, who knows what is happening behind those fences.

Privacy is well established. At the sake of community. Most people might be on a first name basis with the people whose houses are directly adjacent. But other than that, it is nodding acquaintance at best. This poses not only hazards to our children, who we no longer feel safe to say, “go outside and play till dinner is ready”. But also a disservice to ourselves as moms.

While I wasn’t all that interested in knowing what all those women were talking about as we ran inside to grab drink or go to the bathroom. It was plain to see that there were solid bonds of friendship there. They watched out for each other’s kids just as they would their own. They talked and laughed together at the end of the day while one was making dinner, another was sitting at the table keeping an ear on her friend and an eye on the kids. For a lack of a better way to describe it, I would call it community parenting. As kids, we were just as likely to be corrected and or encouraged by any one of the neighborhood mom’s as our own. Nothing escaped their notice either. One or more called my mom at work to tell her that my sister and I were fighting on top of the old clothes pole. (That thing that was in all backyards to attach a clothesline to the house). She also got a call on the day that my sister was chasing me around the yard with a butcher knife.

The community of moms back then was incredible. It is in this spirit that I am writing this blog. As moms we should have other moms to talk to, to lean on, and to learn from. There are days where we need that extra encouragement. There are days were we need talked down off a cliff. If not from another mom, then who? Let’s tear down those fences and reach out to each other. Lend a hand, lend an ear, lend a shoulder.

Let’s try for a little less privacy.

As for the mystery girl, I’ll do some investigating and give her a chance. If it was you… ?

%d bloggers like this: